From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust: Why Sharing Small Failures Builds Confidence
Most people assume confidence comes from competence, preparation, or time. But in everyday life, it’s often shaped by much smaller moments: what we share, what we hide, and how we respond when someone sees us clearly.
Emily Prinsloo is an assistant professor of marketing at Rice University, with a PhD from Harvard Business School and a master’s degree from the University of Cambridge. Her research focuses on the psychology of everyday interactions: how people build trust, make decisions, and form impressions in moments that often feel too small to matter. Those moments, it turns out, matter a great deal.
Across her work, Emily studies how subtle behaviors, as small what we decide to disclose to others, what we hold back, and how we respond to the things they share, shape confidence and connection over time. Her findings challenge a common assumption: that projecting competence requires hiding uncertainty. In many cases, the opposite is true.
Why Small Disclosures Create Connection
When one person shares a personal challenge, even briefly, others tend to respond in kind. Emily’s work shows that this reciprocity increases feelings of closeness and reduces the sense of isolation many people experience, even in busy or professional settings.
What’s notable is how little is required. These effects appear not only among close friends, but also between acquaintances and strangers. A single honest sentence can turn a routine exchange into a human one. Through research, Emily’s seen firsthand how these interactions also shape self-perception. When others respond with understanding or warmth, it creates a positive feedback loop. Being seen positively by others reinforces a more confident, self-trusting view of oneself over time.
The Hidden Power of Accepting Compliments
Another everyday habit that influences confidence is how people receive positive feedback. Many instinctively deflect compliments by minimizing their effort or shifting credit elsewhere. Emily’s research shows that while this may feel modest, it often weakens connection rather than strengthening it.
Accepting a compliment with a simple “thank you” increases likability and signals confidence. Compliments function like gifts: acknowledging them affirms the relationship and the intent behind the praise. Her work also highlights what to avoid. Compliments that include comparisons or qualifiers — such as praising someone “for an intern” or “for someone new”—tend to dilute their impact. Genuine, specific recognition builds trust. Conditional praise does not.
Stop Self-Rejecting Before You Start
Confidence is shaped not only by conversation, but by which opportunities people allow themselves to pursue.
In her research on decision-making, Emily has found that people frequently overlook low-probability opportunities, even when the cost of trying is minimal. This pattern leads many to self-reject before anyone else has the chance to respond.
Not applying, not asking, or not reaching out guarantees the same outcome as rejection, without the benefit of learning or exposure. Taking small chances like sending one more email, asking for feedback, applying anyway, and occasionally produce outsized results. Even when it doesn’t, it builds tolerance for uncertainty and reinforces a sense of agency.
Confidence Grows Through Small Choices
What ties these insights together is scale. Confidence rarely comes from a single bold move. It develops through repeated, low-effort behaviors: sharing honestly, receiving recognition without deflection, and choosing not to opt out prematurely.
As Emily’s research makes clear, these moments don’t require more time. They require more presence. By paying attention to the interactions already happening around us, confidence and connection begin to grow naturally, one small decision at a time.
Listen to the Full Episode
🎧 Time Billionaires, "From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust: Emily Prinsloo of Rice University on Why Sharing Failures Builds Confidence” — Part 1 & 2
👉 Listen on Apple Podcasts
👉 Listen on Spotify
👉 Watch on YouTube
